Wednesday list time

The following is in honor of Thanksgiving.

I am thankful …

1. For my family. I am blessed to be married to a wonderful man, and to be the mother of two extraordinary children. I am lucky to have grown up in the home with laughter, loud conversation and adventures. I have the best brothers and sisters a person can want. A child of divorce, I am grateful the adults in my life never made their issues mine, and am thankful to have several parents who love me.

2. For my friends. I am grateful for the people who choose to be part of my life because they want to — not because my mother makes them.

3. For my health. This journey to be healthier is long, but I want to say thank you to my body for putting up with the abuse I put it through for years and for not giving up when I realized it was time for that to change. To go from a sometime walker to a three-days-per-week runner is a celebration. We are going to kick ass in 2011!

4. For my job. I hate it at times, but I know in this day and age, it is a blessing to be an employed journalist.

5. For knowledge. My mother likes to say ‘Thay can’t take your degree from you.’ With a double major in English and journalism, not a lot of people are trying, but I am happy to have my education when you consider it isn’t an option for so many.

6. Books. I love books. I love book stores. I love libraries. They make bad days better, sad days happier. They entertain you, inform you, comfort you.

One of our cats 'playing' Scrabble with us.

7. Scrabble. My husband and I have been keeping score for nearly two years now — he’s up by 11 games — and it is the perfect way to wind down after a busy day.

8. For those in this world who bring inspiration to others. Thank you for being the people we all wish we could be.

9. For hope. Because believing things could get better makes it possible.

10. For technology because there are days I can’t remember what it was like before the Internet, cell phones, facebook and YouTube. They weren’t as fun.

Stick to the status quo?

I have a friend (this is about a friend, not me) who is going through a rough patch with her marriage. They aren’t fighting, things are just ‘blah.’ She and her husband don’t seem to have a husband-wife relationship. Instead, it’s more a friendship. Actually, that’s not it, either. It’s more of a business. They don’t have the same interests. They don’t do the little things to show each other they care.

She now has to decide what to do. Does she keep living life this way or does she separate from her husband? They have three kids. They own a house. They’ve been together for almost 15 years. All of this keeps her from wanting to consider living her life another way. But is it worth living when you aren’t happy?

It should be noted that she and her husband have tried marriage counseling, on and off, for years.

I wish I could say something to help her. I like her husband. But I also see the difference in her personality when she’s around him. She’s not the same person. Sometimes marriages just don’t work. No one did anything wrong. It’s just time to end.

Week 3 weigh-in

Date: Sunday, Nov. 21

Time: 7:35 a.m.

Weight: 213.5

One and a half-pounds down. Not bad, but not great. I did graduate from the Couch to 5K program. My plan is to work on speed until January 1, then bump up to the 8K training program.

My Tuesday, so far

I jogged for 30 minutes without stopping today!!!

The first few minutes were rough, and they usually are. It takes time to establish your rhythm. My legs started getting tired at the halfway point, but I just told myself I wanted to finish and I did. YAY!

Two more times and I graduate from the Couch to 5K program. Then I work on perfecting my form, running faster. After January 1, I move to the 8K program.

Do you remember skating parties?

Skating parties were the best when I was a little kid!

My elementary school had one at least once a month, that I remember. My parents would drop me off with some friends and we’d skate around for several hours to songs like “Eye of the Tiger” and “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” You knew a boy and a girl were going out when they skated the slow songs together.

Yesterday I took my daughter’s Girl Scouts troop roller skating. This generation does not have regular skating parties. Of the five girls, only two knew how to skate — and only one of those two was good. The other three were newbies. One hit the floor with gusto and got up every time she fell, which was a lot. The other two spent time in the kiddie rink practicing. When they came out to the big rink, they held on to the wall.

Meanwhile, I skated with gusto with the other parents chaperoning the outing. It was fun to see all the adults zooming around, avoiding the little kids sprawled on the floor (there were about 70 Girl Scouts total — fewer than half knew how to skate). 

It was fun, but my legs felt it this morning.

Week 2 weigh-in

Date: Sunday, Nov. 14

Time: 7:05 a.m.

Weight: 215

Only a half-pound down. I blame the mindless eating, which shall be a thing of that past as I’ve rid the kitchen of all junk food. I also blame biology, as ‘that time of the month’ started this morning. I usually gain a few pounds when that begins, so I expect better numbers next week.

Week 9 of Couch to 5K this week — 30 minutes of running three times this week. Bring it!

Talk it out

I officially met my husband in June 1998. We did meet in February, but it was a “Hi, how are you?” work thing.We didn’t really talk until June 29, after a tornado swept through the area. My newspaper, a weekly, had to go to press and we didn’t have power, so my layout editor and I loaded up our hard drives and drove about an hour to my husband’s newsroom. He was working, we got to talking, we went on our first date a few days later and were married 10 months later.

It’s a great story and I can honestly say we have one of the stronger marriages I’ve seen among our friends. We talk to each other — a lot. But we didn’t always. In fact, the first five years of marriage were rough. We had two kids, stressful jobs — there was a lot of tension. I resented the hours he gave to the paper. He resented my attitude when he was home.

Neither of us are big shouters when we fight. We’re the silent treatment types. And when we’re through being mad at each other, one will do something nice for the other and that’s it. There’s usually an apology from both sides later, when all the bad feelings are replaced with sweet ones. It works for us.

There was a time, though, when it didn’t. And we seemed on the verge of taking a break. So we went to a marriage counselor.

I’m not ashamed of the year we spent visiting Diana. She taught us how to talk to each other. The thing we had going, she said, was absolute trust in each other (which was essential since we spent so much time apart — yes, we worked at the same paper, but he was on the road a lot and when one of us went out at night, the other stayed home with the kids). We had to learn, though, how to be a couple. He had to learn to talk to me about his concerns and not leave them bottled up because he didn’t want to start a fight. I had to learn to put himself in his shoes and not freak out because he didn’t do the dishes my way.

There was no magic cure to our sessions, but as time went on, it worked. We learned to talk to each other. We learned to listen. We’re nice to each other. We’ve been married 11 years, and a couple for more than 12 years. When we went on an impromptu date the other night (the kids were at an activity), my heart skipped a beat when I saw him waiting for me outside the restaurant. I’m not an overly romantic person, but knowing this is the person you love with all your heart, and he feels the same way about you, is magical.

A couple of our friends, newlyweds, asked us how me make our marriage work. It is work, I’m not going to lie about that, but it isn’t hard work. If you honestly like and respect the person you have chosen as your partner, the work it worth it. Things will get rough, that’s part of life, so don’t stop talking. Neither one of you knows what the other is thinking, so please. Talk it out.

Food for thought?

(I’ve decided Thursday’s weekly post will be a health article.)

I’ve touted the benefits of Couch to 5K several times now (I graduate from the program next week!), and one thing I love about the program is its facebook page. Nearly 160,000 people are fans and everyone is so supportive of each other, from those who now run marathons to the people just beginning.

Couch to 5K often posts articles for inspiration, information, encouragement. etc. This one was met with some backlash. 

Basically, it says naturally thin people have a different attitude towards food and I believe that. When you grow up not worrying about your weight, food isn’t an issue in your life and therefore doesn’t control what you do. I can’t remember the last time I had a meal in which I didn’t calculate what I was putting into my mouth. If I had a healthy attitude, perhaps I would have stayed thin after losing all that weight when I was 18. But I lost it the wrong way. I used diet pills. I went from a size 18 to a size 8 in three months. It wasn’t healthy and I never learned how to be healthy, which is why I’m still struggling almost 20 years later.

My decision to lose weight isn’t just about weighing less and wearing smaller clothes, it’s about making the right choices that, eventually, will help me come to peace with food and exercise. There’s a woman at the gym who walks every day. She’s an older woman, I’d say in her late 60s. I found out this week she’s 77 — and will be 78 soon. She is in great shape! She’s not the thinnest person in the world, but she’s not overweight, she’s active, she has strong posture. And she has all those because she takes care of herself. An elderly gentleman is there every morning, doing the rowing machine and swimming. He’s 88!!!! They have it figured out.

People who are naturally thin are lucky. I have a sister who is 24 and a size 0. She’s always been tiny. She doesn’t have the best eating habits — meaning she doesn’t cook and relies on cereal a lot – and hates to exercise. But she doesn’t indulge in junk food and orders healthier food options when she goes out. Her favorite food, besides cereal, are oranges. My older sister also is thin. She’s five inches taller than me and a runner. She has been for years. And while she does indulge every now and then, she knows when to stop. I am learning how to do that.

I think what I take from this article is that I can’t think myself thin, but I need to focus more on what I’m doing right, not what I’m doing wrong. Rather than beat myself up for all the snacking yesterday, I’m going to congratulate myself for running this morning, eating my oatmeal and packing a healthy lunch. Keep moving forward.

Oops

Yeah, I totally forgot to track calories yesterday, but in the spirit of full disclosure, it was not a good day.

I did bring about half of my kids’ Halloween candy to work (I don’t need it at home), but then a colleague brough homemade strudel. Bad, bad Merrie. And we had Chinese last night after parent-teacher conferences. Bad, bad again.

But today is another day and this morning I ran roughly 2 miles in 28 minutes — not bad at all. Endurance first. Then speed.

Also, I love being able to touch my toes when I stretch.

Day 6 statistics

Exercise: Ran for 28 minutes, walked for about 10. 400 calories burned.

Breakfast: Quaker strawberries and cream oatmeal, General Food coffee. 350 calories.

Lunch: Pasta salad, string cheese, yogurt. 680 calories.

Dinner: Chicken enchilada with cheese, lettuce and tomatoes. 600 calories.

Total calories consumed (1,630) – calories burned (400) = 1,230 calories.